The early years of my marriage were difficult but wonderfully blessed times of learning and growing together with the woman than I have come to value more than any other through the passing years. Moving together to a new city a thousand miles from home, and as far as we were concerned a city that was a thousand miles from nowhere. Two long winters of zero to fifty below, and ten foot snow drifts. Two first winters of marriage filled with board games together on Sunday afternoons during the worst of the winter weather. Two first years of marriage filled with "make or break' moments that we somehow managed to emerge from in one piece as well as on the "still married" side. Years spent together raising young children who couldn't understand why we bought "store brand" cereal and ate scrambled eggs for dinner. Days with sick children, two jobs, barely making ends meet and little time for each other. Difficult times for sure, but times that remain with grace and beauty in my memory, and that I treasure in my heart still today.
Fast forward a few years and listen in on the conversation...
"Suzanne."
"Yes."
"Robert just asked me to take over a store in Austin."
"What!"
"We are opening a new store in Austin, and Robert wants me to take care of it.
"John, we've had just over a year back in Dallas! The kids are just now beginning to readjust."
"I know, but it's a great opportunity and you know how bored and restless I get when things begin to become routine."
The preceding conversation was one of many of this nature that Suzanne and I have had over the years. We lost count (excuse me, I lost count) of the number of times that we have uprooted our family to move. I have made friends in so many different places that my children expected us to meet someone that I knew no matter where we were at the time.
My personality has always driven me to jump now and grab a rope or a rock or a branch on the way down. Jump the dirt bike over the creek and figure out how I will land when I reach the other side. Instead of ready, aim, fire I am fire and see what happens. We have since discovered that I am ADHD, which explains some things but does nothing to soften the blows of my behavior.
Suzanne on the other hand has always been ready, aim, aim again, readjust your sights, aim again, study what might happen after you fire, then fire.
God bless her sweet and caring soul! There are times that I wonder how she has survived me!
How have two so dramatically different individuals managed to have a thirty two year relationship that that has only grown, prospered and deepened since the day we met?
Well...
I would like to say that we did some very specific things and give you a five step plan for a happy marriage. Nope - can't do it. The only reason that we are together is because God ordered it and we recognized it. But for one digit in a phone number, Suzanne and I would never have met (that's a story for another time). God is the only answer. God in spite of us. There are many stories that we could share regarding our marriage, but the bottom line is that God was at the center from the beginning. We stumbled all over ourselves, but somehow (read God) remained attached. As with many of you, Suzanne and I have suffered some heavy blows over the years. We came dangerously close to splitting when my daughter Kelsey died. More so than at any other time in our marriage. We have much to share about that with others who are travelling the same road. Stick around...there's more to the story...
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